Coming up with sexual fantasy ideas isn’t easy for everyone. Just as some of us are more creative with writing, or music, or cooking, so it is with sexual fantasy ideas.
Developing sexual fantasy ideas can be particularly difficult if you’re like most people and were raised with more or less negative messages about sex, about your body, and about your right to sexual pleasure and the legitimacy of your own sexual desires. In the face of such adversity some of us are able to achieve sexual fantasy greatness, but many of us struggle with feeling okay about our desires, and as a result come up dry in the area of sexual fantasy ideas. The good news is that everyone can have sexual fantasies, its just that some of us need a little more inspiration than others.
Almost all sexual fantasies fall into one of three general categories:
sexual fantasies about the kind of sex you usually have, but with previous, imaginary, or celebrity partners
sexual fantasies involving submission and/or dominance
sexual fantasies involving unconventional sexual practices or settings
Think about your sexual fantasies as a creative reflection of yourself. You can also think about sexual fantasy ideas as a way of telling a story, one with a beginning middle, and end.
Whether you’re an expert at swinging from the ceiling vines, or a nervous newcomer to the idea of dressing up and getting down, fantasy sexual role play opens a new world of sexual possibilities.
Time Required: Plan your fantasy sexual role play over several days, weeks, or months
Here's How:
The difference between fantasy sexual role play and dirty talk.
Having a few minutes of dirty talk just before you start having sex isn’t the same as setting out a fantasy sexual role play scene. Fantasy sexual role play can take you deeper into another character and release you from the restrictions you put on yourself in your daily life. It means more preparation, and more risks, but the difference is palpable, and worth it!
Great fantasy sexual role play requires some forethought.
Most people start out a bit shy and nervous with the idea of dressing up as someone else and playing a role. Much of this reticence comes from a lack of preparation. The best way to get comfortable with sexual role playing is to get prepared. It’s hard to leap into action (and a loin cloth) if you’ve never thought about how Tarzan might sound, or what he might want to do with Jane, and all those vines.
Brainstorm about fantasy sexual role play: get your creative juices flowing.
Consider the following elements of any sex role play scenario:
Who do you want to be?
What’s the scenario?
How can you dress it up?
What’s your motivation?
What (and where) are the boundaries and the ground rules?
Who do you want to be? Pick a fantasy sexual role that feels right.
Cop, nurse, IT specialist… do some homework and pick a character that resonates with you. It’s hard to play a cliché that has no personal meaning, so find one that fits. It is fantasy and you can push your boundaries while finding a character that you connect with in some way.
What’s the scenario? Setting your fantasy sexual role play scene.
Details can take you deeper into a sexual role play scenario. When you first imagine a sexual scene the main points may be enough to get you going, but the more detail you can add to the fantasy the more alive it becomes. Details can also be great for awkward moments when you don’t know what to do next.
How can you dress it up? Choosing costumes and props to extend your fantasy sexual role play.
Maybe the most fun part of the preparation is costumes. As adults we don’t get to play nearly enough, and fantasy sexual role play is a perfect opportunity to dress up and have fun. Once you’ve decided on who you want to be, think about ways to add to your character and role through clothing and props.
What’s your motivation? Analyze your fantasy sexual role play character.
Now that you know who you are, where you are, and what you’re wearing, it’s time to consider the psychology of your role. Analyze your character. What’s your motivation? What turns your character on, what turns them off, what pushes their buttons or drives them wild? Are you dominant? Submissive? Do you switch back and forth?
What are the boundaries? Set ground rules for fantasy sexual role play.
Setting ground rules and boundaries with the person or people you’re going to be playing out a fantasy sexual role play with is essential. Some of these rules should be common sense and common courtesy, like no laughing at someone, and no judging each other in the moment. Other rules will take some thought and good communication.
Practice makes perfect. Use masturbation to explore fantasy sexual role play.
When we think of fantasy sexual role playing we usually imagine it involves at least two people. But masturbation offers some of the most fertile ground for developing sexual fantasy scenes. When we’re masturbating we are less likely to censor our thoughts and feelings.
Find your fantasy dress-up ideas here at Boudoir
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